We survived. All three of us. I can't believe that Abishai is already a month old. Surprisingly, it went by so fast. I looked at a friend last week, and with dismay in my voice said "Wait... what do you mean September is almost over. We just finished August!" Boy does time fly when you're caring for a newborn constantly.
Parenthood is the hardest thing I have ever done. Seriously-- running a marathon is easier. Although, I guess you could argue that parenting a newborn is somewhat maranthon-esque. Feed, burp, change diaper, swing, rock, put down to sleep... repeat with no breaks or sleep. That's a marathon!
As tiring as parenting can be, it's extremely fulfilling at the same time. There's a weird balance. It's amazing how much energy you can muster up to get you through a day on maybe 2 hours of sleep. I thought I was a rockstar at surviving all-nighters in college, but man, this is like the Olympics of all-nighters. In one 24 hour period I will have nursed Abe 10-12 times, been pooped or peed on at least once, and maybe had one full meal-- yet, 10 seconds of a smile or giggle makes all of it worth while.
Our first month was one roller coaster ride of frenzy. Our first week home, I ended up with an infection and a high fever, causing Matt to rush me to the hospital for CT scans and blood tests. On that same day, we learned that I hadn't been producing any milk at all so our poor little guy went an entire week with little to no nourishment. Here we were, first time parents, thinking we had the best baby on the planet. He was sleeping for 5 hour stretches his first week. We later learned that he was just lethargic and dehydrated from not having any nourishment and, as a result, was losing weight instead of gaining.
Soonafter, I was doing everything known to man to increase my milk supply-- herbal supplements, natural galactagogues, and prescription medications. Several more days passed and I woke up one morning with milk! Thank the Lord! Now, we have a full supply and little Abe eats like crazy. At one point, he was eating at the top of every hour. Finally, by his third week Abe made it back to birth weight and we are happy to announce that he is now past that and gaining steadily.
How people survive this alone is beyond me. My parents came and stayed with us for the first 2 weeks, feeding us, helping with tasks around the house, and eventually getting up in the early morning hours to help me change diapers. My mom would stay up on the weeknights tapping my arm every time I'd fall asleep while nursing and graciously taking Abe so that I could go to the bathroom or take a shower. I would not have survived those first few weeks without her.
In addition to my parents help, our friends participated in a meal train and brought us dinner every other day during his first month. We had some pretty awesome meals, too. Not having to worry about dinner those first few weeks was a life saver.
I have a true appreciation for mothers now. After my first few all-nighters, it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Sitting in his room nursing at 2am, tired and in pain from recovering from surgery, I realized the sacrifice that a mother makes for a child. You put aside all of your own personal needs (hunger, hygiene, and sleep) and your pride to make sure that your child is provided for. It's only been a month and I can't remember the last time I actually showered before noon or took the time to brush my hair. It's all about survival mode and if you're in nothing but a nursing bra and pajama bottoms at 8pm, but your child has a clean diaper and hasn't missed any feedings-- you've done your job and it's been a good day.
We're only one month in and I've still got so much to learn and experience and definitely more stories to share. The adventures of Abe are just beginning...
