Twilight (minus the vampires)

I have approached the twilight of this pregnancy and I am now counting down the hours till I begin the arduous undertaking that is labor.  As I sit here, alone in Abishai's room, it strikes me that this will be the last evening that Matt and I will have that is just our own in our home.  I am overwhelmed by a combination of emotions -- nervousness, excitement, fear, joy, and gratefulness.  In a day or so, we will be meeting our son for the first time and our lives will change, albeit for the better, forever.

It has been such a long journey that started long before we ever got that positive pregnancy test.  In the last 2.5 years, God has pushed, prodded, stretched, and formed me into something new and the growth I've experienced emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and (let's not forget) physically has been challenging, but amazing.  This was not an easy road, but I've learned and seen some astounding things because I traveled it.

One thing that stands out to me the most as I reminisce is that I am truly blessed.  Totally undeserving in so many ways and yet God continues to bless me.  First and foremost, He blessed me with Matt-- a true partner and best friend that has shown me patience, love, compassion, and understanding beyond reason.  I have seen God's grace through Matt and words will never encompass the gratitude I have for his partnership in this marriage and our impending parenthood.

Then, God revealed to me His benevolence.  We are surrounded by friends and family that have gone above and beyond in their generosity towards Matt and I as we prepare for Abishai's arrival.  Multiple showers of love and gifts, providing us with every little knick knack an infant would need.  But the generosity went further than material things.  Friends surrounded us with prayers and thoughts and enveloped us with their love through meals, fellowship, help with housework, and many other ways.  I am blown away by the hospitality and kindness that has been given to us.

For those of you that know me well, you know that I like my lists and I live by planning.  Waiting for Abishai to arrive has been an agonizing test.  I could only plan for it to an extent.  At the end of the day, the date and time of his arrival would always be a surprise.  Today I am officially 41 weeks along which calculates to being pregnant for a total of 10 months and 1 week.  I have watched as the pregnant family and friends I have who were all within my due date have, one by one, given birth to their bundles of joy.  It's been frustrating, to say the least, and I've really had to learn to be patient especially through the physical discomfort I've been experiencing.  "Man proposes, God disposes" were the wise words that my mother shared with me and I've had to remind myself that none of this is in my timing.  As I prepare for our induction tomorrow evening, I am trying to strip away the anxiety and nervous tension that I have about the unknowns.  In the end, I know we will see a glimpse of God's glory through this new life. 


So, here we go.  At 8pm, Matt and I will be admitted into the hospital and begin the trip down labor road.  Please keep us both (or shall I say, all three of us) in your thoughts and prayers.  Thank you in advance for all of the support, encouragement, and love.  We're excited and can't wait for you to meet Abishai (who will have an official middle name as well). 

Here's one of my favorite Third Day songs... let's hope this helps calm me (or motivate me) through those last few pushes.

Walking from 3rd to Home

Today is my official (original) due date.  As I start this blog entry, it is 9:43pm.  I think it's safe to assume that Abishai will not be making an appearance today.  Unless, of course, I happen to go into labor in the next few minutes and have an amazingly quick delivery (highly doubtful, though greatly desired).

Instead, I will take this time to update you on my very last month of pregnancy.  What a month.  I've had a relatively easy pregnancy.  The first trimester was tough (as expected), second trimester was breezy, and for the most part, my third trimester was not so bad... until my ninth (or is it tenth) and final month.  I hit my 37th week and boy did I feel a difference.   All of sudden my toes turned into little sausages, my back ached more than usual, and a watermelon shaped bulge formed on my stomach that made getting up and out of any seated position quite a challenge.

I won't lie.  I'm so uncomfortable.  The desperation I have at this very moment to get my child out of my womb has burned a very pathetic expression on my face.  Halfway through my second trimester, my doctors convinced me that Abishai would come early.  "He's huge," they said, "There's no way he'll stay in their long-- you're running out of room".  We had our hospital bag packed and ready to go by my 36th week.  Everything has been ready for his arrival since the first of August.  Yet, here I am, on the exact day of my 40th week with a baby in my belly and no sign of delivery.

Mind you, Matt and I have attempted a plethora of natural induction methods.  In fact, I even stacked up a number of them on consecutive days, only to wake up the next morning wondering why I hadn't gone into labor.  I actually began listing out what we've tried, but decided against it.  I know what you're thinking... you have some tried and true method that you want to share and tell us to give a shot.  Trust me, we've tried it.  Trust me... it didn't work.  Trust me.   For the most part, I just end up with the same result--- chubby, swollen feet and high blood pressure.  Some methods are definitely more enjoyable than others, but they still didn't get my kid out of my womb.  Just sayin'.

Some of you have asked for more belly photos.  I forgot to take one for 39 weeks and didn't take one today for 40, so I leave you with this little diddy.  I'll take a 40 week photo some time this week.

I will officially be induced on August 27th.  I hope it doesn't come to that, although, I've already started preparing myself.  In the meantime, I'm eating every meal as if it's my last because labor is literally just around the corner.

Um... I need you to look at something for me

I'm now 32 weeks along (2 months left) and I'm trying to milk as much out of this pregnancy as possible.  I've hit the crest of my bell curve, but I'm trying my best to enjoy it as much as possible till the inevitable angry, uncomfortable, irritable beast of a woman inside me emerges in my last few weeks. 

Now let me preface this with the fact that I'm uber thankful that I didn't have to deal with never-ending nausea or extreme weight gain.  For the most part, I've been having a pretty easy pregnancy and I'm thankful that my body hasn't become so disfigured that I look like the Michelin Man version of my pre-pregnancy self.

As to be expected, my tiny frame is being stretched, pulled, and pushed in all different directions and I have a basketball sized belly weighing down on all the organs below my waist.  I can’t see anything below the top of my belly curve-- which makes for investigating aches, pains, and "discomforts" quite difficult.  I like to call these discomforts “silent predators”… you can’t seem them, but boy do you feel them.

Which brings me to my story....

Warning: The following tale is not for the faint of heart. I am documenting it for my own purposes-- mainly so that in the future, when I think I'm having a bad day, I can come back and read this and think "yeah your day is not THAT bad".  You know what I mean.  Glad we're on the same page.

Thankfully, I am blessed with a husband that has quite the sense of humor.  Well, that and he's not the squeamish type-- unless you're a baby and you barf in his mouth or your dog sneezes in his face (just throwing out random scenarios that would be an exception).  

So it had been a few days and I had been feeling an interesting "discomfort" in an area that was not easily reachable and definitely unseen (especially by me).  This unpleasantness then manifested itself into an insatiable itch.  I'm talking about an itch so bad you plead for death.   Being the classy woman that I am, I obviously rubbed that area raw... to the point that I'm sure it will never look the same again.  

This is where Matt comes in.  Poor Matt.  I'd been awake all night-- going to town on eliminating the itch, so I was wide awake by the time his 5am alarm went off.  He turns off his alarm and a voice from the darkness says this:

"Um... I need you to look at something for me".  That's never a good sign. 

Matt dutifully examines me and responds so matter-of-factly with

"Well, it looks like…(thoughtful pause as he waits for the right description to grace his lips)… the rudder of a ship".

I'm no expert here, but I have no use for a rudder.  The image that comes to mind is that of kneading bread dough and after a while it doubles in size.  Except, I never intended to bake loaves with my butt.

You should have seen the face on the Target cashier that watched me unload my "ship-rudder elminating" purchases onto the conveyer belt.  I threw some gum and snacks on there as well just to "lighten the mood".  I can't be the first person who has ever bought Prep-H and Chex mix together. At least now I know how to build the perfect relief package for any other pregnant woman that's experiencing these foes.

Rudder Elimination Kit

To top it all off, I ended up also breaking out into a full body food allergy rash from something I ate on Father's Day.  After being sent to 2 different doctors and a perinatologist they concluded that I can't eat shrimp, strawberries, or sesame seeds for the rest of the pregnancy.  It's too bad, I was planning a shrimp and sesame seed oil stir fry, garnished with strawberries. OR... it could just be heat rash.  We're currently testing out theories.

Expanding Appetites & Inedible Donuts

The second trimester of pregnancy is all about expansion.  Expanding my meal choices since I no longer barf at the smell of ham, expanding my wardrobe to include a multitude of stretchy pieces, and the wonderful adventures of an expanding pelvis.

Don't get me wrong, my second trimester was magnitudes more comfortable than my first.  I not only was excited, but ravenously-crazy about getting my hands on my first Dodger dog of the season.  Don't worry, I convinced myself that it was nitrate free and I washed down any lingering bacteria with an order of nachos and some garlic fries.  The Dodger dog was for me-- the garlic fries and nachos were for Abe (he begged!).  Matt acted shocked when I promptly requested ice cream after the game.  There's always room for ice cream!

That smile is less for the game win and more for the Dodger Dog, nachos, & garlic fries.

Needless to say, my appetite is pretty impressive.  I've also done a great job with keeping a very healthy diet.  Here's some photographic evidence of my nutritional discretion:

Hot Dog on a Stick, Sprinkles Chocolate Marshmallow Cupcake, & a taco in honor of Cinco de Mayo.  Ole!

I've also recently discovered that Torrance has a Rubios, so the Original Rubios fish taco with 4 limes has been added to my weekly rotation.  The Rubios guy already knows me by name and I just hand him my card.  He also knows I've been pilfering the "decorative" un-cut limes, so he now gives me a separate bag just for limes and flashes me that look of "just take the limes that are already prepared, please".  I'm sure they've given me a nickname by now-- "Prego Lime Lady" or something like that.

Despite my insanely large sugar intake, I passed my glucose test with flying colors. I sucked down that fizzy orange concoction like a champ! I actually have video of me chugging it down, but I thought the hacking noises that I make in between sips sounded too much like a cat trying to release an enormous hairball that it would be off-putting.

Chug, chug, chug!!!!

Thankfully, regardless of my nutritious diet, I've only put on 13 pounds... for now.  I have to keep telling myself that last part because I'm certain that the inevitable will happen and I'll wake up one day in my eighth month and have put on an additional twenty.  It'll catch up to me I'm sure.  In fact, I've unconsciously eyed clothing in Target's plus-size section, taken the item off the rack, and proceeded to the fitting room before realizing that the "x" after the number was not for "xs".  I've done that three times already!  One of those occasions Matt giggled his way around the store without telling me.  He thinks he's so funny.

All in all, my second trimester was definitely in the up & up purely because of my eating habits.  Then there's the downside.  As I approached the end of trimester two, I started to discover that my body was starting to feel a bit... achy.  So, although I've been able to add things like hot dogs and calzones to my edible list, I've had to add a not-so-edible donut to the list as well.

Tailbone and lower back pain is no bueno.  I've held off for about 3 weeks now from hitting the "purchase" button on Amazon for a foam butt donut.  I'll most likely Amazon prime that tomorrow.  Sitting for long periods is just unbearable and in the last 2 weeks I've been on 6 planes for a total of 18+ hours.  I'm sure my seat neighbors found it strange that my neck pillow slowly disappeared its way below my rear end.  Yeah... that happened.

I hear my third trimester is the beginning of the end and it's all downhill from here.  Well, I'm going to take it a day at a time and try to enjoy it as much as possible... despite the donut that I'll be towing around with me.  Cheers to second trimesters and fun meals and Bon Chance as I make my way through my third tri.  Home stretch, baby-- let's just have a couple more Dodger Dogs to usher this kid into the world. :)

March Madness: Big Hearts and Big Kicks

We've had some crazy few weeks in the Stanbery household.  March was a big month for us- both up and down.

In our last post you learned that BabyBery is a baby BOY and we are thrilled with the news.  Matt's super excited because I think he may have shut down our gender party if it happened to be a girl.  Now that baby boy Stanbery is on his way into this world in the next few months, Matt's mentioned that having a girl next wouldn't be so bad.  He needs an accomplice, he says... for all the boys that would come by to try and date his future daughter.

We've decided on a name (one that's been decided for quite some time) and we are naming our son, Abishai-- meaning "Gift from the Father".  Abishai was one of King David's mighty men-- a determined warrior and one known in the Bible for slaying 300 men in one battle with his sword to protect King David.  Think the Greek king Leonidus.  Abishai was fierce!  We're hoping for the same strength and might in our son, but hopefully with less of a temper.  :)

The end of March was a hectic time for us.  My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and after 12+ hours of surgery, his very skilled doctors were able to remove all of the cancer from his pancreas.  He is now left with only 25% of his pancreas and he no longer has a spleen, but we thank God every day that he is alive.  God has plans for my dad and we're pretty certain that one of those plans is meeting his grandson this August.   My dad is doing well now, learning each day to deal with diabetes, but recovering quite quickly-- much to the surprise of his doctors.  We all have something to be thankful for and it makes us remember how precious each day of life is.

Although my dad's days in the hospital were not comfortable or fun for any of us, I was very excited to greet my dad on the day of his discharge with the first few kicks from our little boy.  Seeing my dad's smile and hearing him laugh for the first time in a long time as he held his palm to my belly was such a blessing.  Almost like Abishai knew Grandpa Lalo needed a pick-me-up.

Since then, Abishai has been kicking up a storm.  It's so strange to feel him.  I've likened the feeling to him doing the spider-pig on my belly.  I've been told it will only get stronger and possibly uncomfortable.  I'm preparing myself for his soccer player kicks if he's going to follow in his father's footsteps.

Then there's this.  I'm only posting this because I vowed to keep track of my pregnancy brain moments-- this will probably be the closest to comic relief you'll find on the blog.  Enjoy!



Pregnancy Brain Moment (another to add to the list): So as I was lying there during our 20 week ultrasound, watching our tech click through all of the boxes to confirm that our baby boy has all of his organs and limbs.  Legs - check,  arms - check, liver - check, kidneys - check.... 4 chambered heart - check!  It was a great appointment and Matt and I were so excited to hear that the baby was doing well.  We get in the car and this conversation ensues:

Me: Our son has a 4 chambered heart!!
Matt: Yup
Me: Now he only has to grow one more chamber...
Matt: (confused look on face) Uh... no.  He just gets 4.  Are you serious?
Me: (also with a confused look on my face)  Oh.  Really?  Just 4?  I could've sworn there were 5.
Matt: Nope, honey.  He only has 4. You also only have 4.  We only have four. 
Me: Oh...

To make me feel better, Matt has now said that I must've thought there were five chambers and that Jesus goes in the 5th chamber.  Gotta make room for Jesus, right?

Gender Reveal

When we first found out we were pregnant, Matt surprised me with his knowledge of something called a "Gender Reveal Party".  Instead of having the ultrasound tech tell us what gender our baby was, we would ask her to write the gender down on a piece of paper and seal the answer in an envelope.  Then we give the envelope to a baker who would die the cake either pink or blue depending on the sex of the baby and then cover it in white frosting.

So...with the help of some very awesome girlfriends, mine and Matt's vision was brought to life.  Hours of gluey mess later we had my dream decor-- handmade yarn balls-- which will later decorate BabyBery's bedroom.  I created a photobooth area that helped our guests cast their "vote" on the baby's gender by snapping a photo with a mustache or lips.  Then there was the food, we had an awesome spread of goodies and even pink and blue drinks to match the theme.

In the end we found out that BabyBery is a BOY!  Here are some photos of the party and a video recap. :)

Tons of thanks to Shayna, the Lipscomb Ladies, Shannon, Natalie, & Courtney for all the hardwork they put in to making this party perfect!

 

 

 

 

 

And the list goes on

One month and 4 days ago we moved from our cozy little home in San Pedro to our now, much larger, almost cozy, soon-to-feel-like-home in fancy pants Carson.  I'm using the term "fancy-pants" sarcastically for those of you not familiar with the outskirts of the Harbor Cities.  We still have boxes strewn about the place and a good number of items that still don't have a permanent hiding spot, but it's getting there... slowly.  My goal (and I haven't had too many goals since getting pregnant-- pregnancy makes me too tired for goals) is to have our place all gussied up by the second week of March.  We'll see how that goes.

In the last month, though, I have managed to accomplish the following:

• Expand my diet beyond pizza, fried chicken, & french fries
• Go grocery shopping without vomiting at the smell of rotisserie chicken
• Become a pancake cooking master
• Wash multiple loads of dishes without flinching at the site of partially eaten food
• Cook a meal that's main protein was not battered and fried
• Fully alphabetize and shelve 740+ DVDS (we could open up our own rental business)

I'm pretty proud of that list.  It's the little things that keep me going these days.

One thing that I am desperately trying to cross off is how to kick a cold without taking any medication while pregnant.  It's been a month that I've been festering nastiness in my body that manifests itself in some form of congestion, cough, or increased mucous production.  Yeah, I know... it's gross.  I took for granted all those times that I was able to easily shoot back 2 full teaspoons of some menthol-flavored elixir, pass out for a full-night's rest, and wake up with the slightest glimmer of a sniffle.  Nowadays, I find myself barely remembering what it felt like to have two working nostrils and a voice that didn't sound like I was speaking to everyone with my face submerged in water. 

The entrepreneurial nature in me wants to take advantage of this affliction and come up with some miracle drug that cures the common cold in pregnant women.  There's a million dollar business in this somewhere.  Having a cold while you're pregnant is the worst! In my desperation yesterday I even called my doctor's office pleading for some relief and she okay'd the use of regular strength Tylenol Cold.  I practically ran to the Target pharmacy to get my hands on it only to find the shelves empty.  I put on my best sick as a dog face and went to ask the pharmacist if she could recommend anything comparable in my pregnant state.  I ruined it for myself.  She refused to tell me anything and kept repeating that since I'm pregnant there is nothing I can do but go home, rest, and use a saline sinus rinse.

Now, I won't go into the ugly details that were my last experience with sinus rinsing, but let's just say it didn't end well.  I never had any problems with it until about 3 weeks ago when I proved to myself that sinus rinsing can rinse out not just your nasal passage but your last meal.  *shiver*  Needless to say, I won't be sinus rinsing for a long time.

Today, I discovered Puffs Plus tissues with Vicks! You can smell these fluffy, white rags from a mile away, but they do give me some form of relief.  The relief lasts only minutes, but boy do I cherish those minutes.  Do I care that I smell like a retirement home's gathering hall?  No siree.  I will proudly be toting these menthol-potent babies with me until I kick this cold to the curb.  I may even sneak some into my pockets while I lead worship tomorrow morning.  I'm sure God will love my Vicks Vapo smellin' voice.

Lastly, here's the first of many BabyBery Bump Shots.  It looks like I'm pushing my belly out, but I assure you I'm not.  I have a tiny, compact torso and that baby belly is bumpin'.  I'm still getting used to the fact that it's not hard, jiggles, and just looks like I had a HUGE lunch (which, maybe I did. It was probably delicious).  I'll be 15 weeks on Monday, but I'm just too lazy to take photos each week.  Here's 13 weeks for those curious about my progress to fat penguin status.

13 weeks

A Serious Case of Pregnancy Brain

I've heard many women talk about "pregnancy brain" but it just sounds like an excuse for just plain dumb.  I was wrong... as usual, since I've recently discovered that I've come down with an enormous case of pregnancy brain.  Sure, I'd make dumb comments or ask a lame question here and there, but I just attributed that to my unbelievable exhaustion.  Making a baby is tiring and my brain just doesn't think... as hard as it used to, that is.

Then it happened; the moment I realized that all my logic and coherence had taken a vacation.  I was tired and headed home from the usual stressful day at work.  I pulled into the garage, grabbed my purse, got out of the car, and headed inside.  I was about 4 steps into the house when I realized that the water heater sounded like it was working overtime.  Man, that water heater is loud!  So, I turn around to look back into the garage.  Nope-- not the water heater.  Sure enough, my car was still running.  Yeah, that's right.  I left my car running in the garage.  Stunned, I hurry back to my car, turn off the ignition, and in absolute humiliation run inside to tell Matt what an idiot I am. 

Okay, so I admit it.  I have pregnancy brain.  Never in my right mind would I have left my car running.  Now, you'd think I'd learn my lesson.  I've successfully repeated that instance a total of three times now.  THREE!  Proceeded into my home with my car still running.  Each time, I've caught it upon entering the house, but still!  I anticipated all the other side effects to pregnancy: nausea, food aversions, exhaustion, and emotional instability, but I did not prepare for the random fits of ineptitude.

I'm hoping I'm done with the car-left-running streak, but I'll keep a tally on the blog just in case. 

Backflips for Crunch Bars

Let's reminisce for a few moments.  Remember being a kid and going to someone's birthday party and they had a pinata that was in the shape of some character or animal that matched the theme of their party? You and all 30 of the other kids would scream and shout till you ripped the head off of that character, its candy guts spilled onto the ground, and then all of you elementary aged looters would storm the ground for sugar.  Then, came the sugar rush.  Kids running around as if they were drunk, kicking balloons, climbing walls, and going bonkers.

So... we did that to BabyBery today.  Officially 12 weeks today and our good lil munchkin was not in the mood for moving at all.  Nothing some ice cold water and Nestle Crunch Bars couldn't turn around. Two chocolate bars later and BabyBery was doing backflips.  Swimming around like there was a party only they had the secret code for.

No longer a little berry... we've got a real human in there!  The best news is that I'm officially out of my first trimester.  Here's to hoping my meat aversion subsides and I can finally go grocery shopping without amping myself up to to scream "CLEAN UP ON AISLE 5" every time they start cooking rotisserie chicken.  

My 12 week letter to BabyBery

Dear BabyBery,
Mind growing a taste for veggies or maybe even a hamburger patty?  I'd really like to start eating something other than french fries, pizza, and battered & deep fried chicken.  Also, I know you love soda, but I can't drink gallons of it, so the little sips here and there will have to do.  Just for the record, you really are your father's child... already.  That's all for now.  I love you and can't wait to meet you.

Love, Mom

Growing on the Vine

It had been a little over 4 weeks since the night that I received my "not-less" pregnancy test results and now we were sitting patiently in a pale pink walled waiting room filled with some obviously pregnant women.   Me... not so much.  If anything, the nauseous look on my face, giant thermos of water, and the packets of crackers in my hands would have been a dead giveaway.


The anxiety we both felt while waiting in the doctor's waiting room was overwhelming. Other than "you hope you hear a heartbeat", we really had no idea what we were in for.  An hour later, we got called back to the ultrasound room.  Our not-so-warm ultrasound tech looks at us and dismissively says "this will only take one minute.  We're just trying to find a heartbeat".  In our heads we're thinking: Yeah, go ahead and take as many minutes as you need lady-- we want to hear that heart thumpin.  She didn't look like the type that wanted to waste any time though.

Two minutes later, a loud, fast thumping noise started echoing in our little room.  It sounded like Thumper doing a dance on a log.  Yet, our ultrasound tech said nothing.  She was completely silent the whole time and didn't guide us through anything she was doing.  We watched as she snapped a few photos and finally typed "BABY" on the screen next to this little lima bean looking blob.  Printed the photo and handed it to us.  "Congratulations," she said with a stale look on her face, "you're exactly 8 weeks and 4 days along."  Then she sent us on our way without any real fanfare.

We thanked her and the moment Matt shut the door to the room, I turned to him, shook the photo and let out a not-so-silent squeal then whispered "We're having a baby!"

We've got a BabyBery growing on our vine... evidence below.

Photo courtesy of the brilliant Thomas Whiteside at Wish For Color

Where's the "NOT"?

I was sick.  Really sick.  The kind of sick that makes you start to think that something is severely wrong.  I had no appetite, dizziness, and a splitting headache that had lasted not just hours, but days.  What's wrong with me?  I don't have time to be sick-- I have too much to do at work and I'm in the midst of trying to find a place to live (tangent story: we got told the day after Thanksgiving that we needed to move).

I went home from work 2 days in a row because I couldn't function through the throbbing headaches.  Migraines due to stress is what I diagnosed myself with (Tangent story: I always webmd and diagnose myself before calling an actual doctor).  Finally, on day 4, after cranking through the pain at work, I pause to have some lunch.  A roast beef sandwich.  One bite and I immediately regurgitated into my boss' trash can.  "Go home before you give everyone else the stomach flu," he yelled.  Fine.  So I went home again.

What the heck is wrong with me? I never throw up!  I love food.  Next thing I know-- I'm passed out on my couch.  I wake a few hours later with the sudden urge to pee.  Hmm... could it be?  No way.  There's just no way.  In our bathroom drawer there were 2 tests.  I hate these tests.  They're stressful and the waiting feels like an hour and not 3 minutes (also Matty was not home).

I take one.  3 minutes later, I get an error screen.  Hmm... must not be it.  I'm definitely coming down with some awful illness.  Minutes later, I'm passed out on the couch again only to be awaken by an unusually urgent sensation to pee.  One test left.  I take it.  I throw it on the ground and start washing my hands.  Thoughts currently going through my head during the next 3 minutes: "Not Pregnant.  Not Pregnant.  That's what it will say.  Ugh... such a waste of money.  Those things are so darn expensive!"

I turn towards the door to pick up the test and almost carelessly throw it towards the trash can without even giving it a sincere look.  I glance down ever so apathetically and don't see the "not".  What?  Where's the "NOT"?  WHAT?  NO WAY!!

It was true.   The only word visible on the tiny digital screen read: "Pregnant".  The "Not", clearly missing.  I started pacing.  I'd taken dozens of these tests and I was so accustomed to the "Not" that I didn't even know how to react at this point.  Why did I do this while Matt wasn't home?  I'm nuts! 

Quickly, I wrapped my Not-less test result in tissue paper and threw it into a gift box.  Matt would be home any minute and thank goodness it was December so early presents would not seem out of place.  He came home, started telling me about his day, then sat on the couch next to me where I had clearly spent hours lazily nodding off my day.  I handed him the box.  "I have a present for you".  He shook it.  "You're pregnant!"  "Just open it!"  He knew.  Slowly he opened the box which was obviously made for a DVD but lacked the weight of anything close.  "I knew it!  I knew it!  We're having a baby!"

I looked at him with tears welling up in my eyes.  We hugged and kissed and immediately I told him we had to go to Target and buy more tests to make sure.  In the car, I told him that if the next 2 tests came out negative, he'd be holding me all night while I cried.  He responded with, "If the next 2 tests come out positive, you'll be holding me all night while I cry".  I married a comedian.


2 more tests later and it was unmistakable. 

December 7th, 2011... This oven is on and the baking is in progress.