Um... I need you to look at something for me

I'm now 32 weeks along (2 months left) and I'm trying to milk as much out of this pregnancy as possible.  I've hit the crest of my bell curve, but I'm trying my best to enjoy it as much as possible till the inevitable angry, uncomfortable, irritable beast of a woman inside me emerges in my last few weeks. 

Now let me preface this with the fact that I'm uber thankful that I didn't have to deal with never-ending nausea or extreme weight gain.  For the most part, I've been having a pretty easy pregnancy and I'm thankful that my body hasn't become so disfigured that I look like the Michelin Man version of my pre-pregnancy self.

As to be expected, my tiny frame is being stretched, pulled, and pushed in all different directions and I have a basketball sized belly weighing down on all the organs below my waist.  I can’t see anything below the top of my belly curve-- which makes for investigating aches, pains, and "discomforts" quite difficult.  I like to call these discomforts “silent predators”… you can’t seem them, but boy do you feel them.

Which brings me to my story....

Warning: The following tale is not for the faint of heart. I am documenting it for my own purposes-- mainly so that in the future, when I think I'm having a bad day, I can come back and read this and think "yeah your day is not THAT bad".  You know what I mean.  Glad we're on the same page.

Thankfully, I am blessed with a husband that has quite the sense of humor.  Well, that and he's not the squeamish type-- unless you're a baby and you barf in his mouth or your dog sneezes in his face (just throwing out random scenarios that would be an exception).  

So it had been a few days and I had been feeling an interesting "discomfort" in an area that was not easily reachable and definitely unseen (especially by me).  This unpleasantness then manifested itself into an insatiable itch.  I'm talking about an itch so bad you plead for death.   Being the classy woman that I am, I obviously rubbed that area raw... to the point that I'm sure it will never look the same again.  

This is where Matt comes in.  Poor Matt.  I'd been awake all night-- going to town on eliminating the itch, so I was wide awake by the time his 5am alarm went off.  He turns off his alarm and a voice from the darkness says this:

"Um... I need you to look at something for me".  That's never a good sign. 

Matt dutifully examines me and responds so matter-of-factly with

"Well, it looks like…(thoughtful pause as he waits for the right description to grace his lips)… the rudder of a ship".

I'm no expert here, but I have no use for a rudder.  The image that comes to mind is that of kneading bread dough and after a while it doubles in size.  Except, I never intended to bake loaves with my butt.

You should have seen the face on the Target cashier that watched me unload my "ship-rudder elminating" purchases onto the conveyer belt.  I threw some gum and snacks on there as well just to "lighten the mood".  I can't be the first person who has ever bought Prep-H and Chex mix together. At least now I know how to build the perfect relief package for any other pregnant woman that's experiencing these foes.

Rudder Elimination Kit

To top it all off, I ended up also breaking out into a full body food allergy rash from something I ate on Father's Day.  After being sent to 2 different doctors and a perinatologist they concluded that I can't eat shrimp, strawberries, or sesame seeds for the rest of the pregnancy.  It's too bad, I was planning a shrimp and sesame seed oil stir fry, garnished with strawberries. OR... it could just be heat rash.  We're currently testing out theories.

Expanding Appetites & Inedible Donuts

The second trimester of pregnancy is all about expansion.  Expanding my meal choices since I no longer barf at the smell of ham, expanding my wardrobe to include a multitude of stretchy pieces, and the wonderful adventures of an expanding pelvis.

Don't get me wrong, my second trimester was magnitudes more comfortable than my first.  I not only was excited, but ravenously-crazy about getting my hands on my first Dodger dog of the season.  Don't worry, I convinced myself that it was nitrate free and I washed down any lingering bacteria with an order of nachos and some garlic fries.  The Dodger dog was for me-- the garlic fries and nachos were for Abe (he begged!).  Matt acted shocked when I promptly requested ice cream after the game.  There's always room for ice cream!

That smile is less for the game win and more for the Dodger Dog, nachos, & garlic fries.

Needless to say, my appetite is pretty impressive.  I've also done a great job with keeping a very healthy diet.  Here's some photographic evidence of my nutritional discretion:

Hot Dog on a Stick, Sprinkles Chocolate Marshmallow Cupcake, & a taco in honor of Cinco de Mayo.  Ole!

I've also recently discovered that Torrance has a Rubios, so the Original Rubios fish taco with 4 limes has been added to my weekly rotation.  The Rubios guy already knows me by name and I just hand him my card.  He also knows I've been pilfering the "decorative" un-cut limes, so he now gives me a separate bag just for limes and flashes me that look of "just take the limes that are already prepared, please".  I'm sure they've given me a nickname by now-- "Prego Lime Lady" or something like that.

Despite my insanely large sugar intake, I passed my glucose test with flying colors. I sucked down that fizzy orange concoction like a champ! I actually have video of me chugging it down, but I thought the hacking noises that I make in between sips sounded too much like a cat trying to release an enormous hairball that it would be off-putting.

Chug, chug, chug!!!!

Thankfully, regardless of my nutritious diet, I've only put on 13 pounds... for now.  I have to keep telling myself that last part because I'm certain that the inevitable will happen and I'll wake up one day in my eighth month and have put on an additional twenty.  It'll catch up to me I'm sure.  In fact, I've unconsciously eyed clothing in Target's plus-size section, taken the item off the rack, and proceeded to the fitting room before realizing that the "x" after the number was not for "xs".  I've done that three times already!  One of those occasions Matt giggled his way around the store without telling me.  He thinks he's so funny.

All in all, my second trimester was definitely in the up & up purely because of my eating habits.  Then there's the downside.  As I approached the end of trimester two, I started to discover that my body was starting to feel a bit... achy.  So, although I've been able to add things like hot dogs and calzones to my edible list, I've had to add a not-so-edible donut to the list as well.

Tailbone and lower back pain is no bueno.  I've held off for about 3 weeks now from hitting the "purchase" button on Amazon for a foam butt donut.  I'll most likely Amazon prime that tomorrow.  Sitting for long periods is just unbearable and in the last 2 weeks I've been on 6 planes for a total of 18+ hours.  I'm sure my seat neighbors found it strange that my neck pillow slowly disappeared its way below my rear end.  Yeah... that happened.

I hear my third trimester is the beginning of the end and it's all downhill from here.  Well, I'm going to take it a day at a time and try to enjoy it as much as possible... despite the donut that I'll be towing around with me.  Cheers to second trimesters and fun meals and Bon Chance as I make my way through my third tri.  Home stretch, baby-- let's just have a couple more Dodger Dogs to usher this kid into the world. :)

Book Worms

Matt and I are avid readers.  Okay... Matt is an avid reader and I'm a so-so reader whenever there's a New York Times bestselling book series (insert: Hunger Games, Dragon Tattoo, and Twilight).  One thing that I'm really excited about is building Abishai's library.  Over our 5 years of marriage, Matt and I have amassed quite the book collection.  In fact, when we were moving in, there were more boxes dedicated to just books than there were anything else.  What can we say, we love the feeling of turning pages and we'll probably never convert to the digital book realm.  Sorry, Kindle.

I've already started building a mental list of all the books I want to read to Abe.  I was browsing through some blogs and stumbled upon a very intriguing children's book called The Story of the Little Mole Who Went in Search of Whodunit.  Originally written & published in Germany, the story follows the journey of Little Mole who wakes up one morning to be greeted by a stinky surprise as he pokes his head out of his hole.  Poor Little Mole begins investigating the neighborhood to solve the mystery of "whodunit". Now isn't that a precious addition to any child's library?  I can see it now, sitting on the shelf in between Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and Goodnight, Moon. 

My amusement doesn't stop there.  I was pleased to learn that this particular book is "frequently bought together" with Walter the Farting Dog on Amazon.com.  Although I'm sure Abe will learn enough on his own about flatulence and bowel movements, I'm comforted by the fact that he can be entertained and educated about those topics through literature.  They may not be Caldecott Medal winners, but I'm sure they're just as memorable.

In other news, Christopher Walken may be the first person to read Where the Wild Things Are to our little boy because, well, there's just no way we could do it justice.  Listen for yourselves...

March Madness: Big Hearts and Big Kicks

We've had some crazy few weeks in the Stanbery household.  March was a big month for us- both up and down.

In our last post you learned that BabyBery is a baby BOY and we are thrilled with the news.  Matt's super excited because I think he may have shut down our gender party if it happened to be a girl.  Now that baby boy Stanbery is on his way into this world in the next few months, Matt's mentioned that having a girl next wouldn't be so bad.  He needs an accomplice, he says... for all the boys that would come by to try and date his future daughter.

We've decided on a name (one that's been decided for quite some time) and we are naming our son, Abishai-- meaning "Gift from the Father".  Abishai was one of King David's mighty men-- a determined warrior and one known in the Bible for slaying 300 men in one battle with his sword to protect King David.  Think the Greek king Leonidus.  Abishai was fierce!  We're hoping for the same strength and might in our son, but hopefully with less of a temper.  :)

The end of March was a hectic time for us.  My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and after 12+ hours of surgery, his very skilled doctors were able to remove all of the cancer from his pancreas.  He is now left with only 25% of his pancreas and he no longer has a spleen, but we thank God every day that he is alive.  God has plans for my dad and we're pretty certain that one of those plans is meeting his grandson this August.   My dad is doing well now, learning each day to deal with diabetes, but recovering quite quickly-- much to the surprise of his doctors.  We all have something to be thankful for and it makes us remember how precious each day of life is.

Although my dad's days in the hospital were not comfortable or fun for any of us, I was very excited to greet my dad on the day of his discharge with the first few kicks from our little boy.  Seeing my dad's smile and hearing him laugh for the first time in a long time as he held his palm to my belly was such a blessing.  Almost like Abishai knew Grandpa Lalo needed a pick-me-up.

Since then, Abishai has been kicking up a storm.  It's so strange to feel him.  I've likened the feeling to him doing the spider-pig on my belly.  I've been told it will only get stronger and possibly uncomfortable.  I'm preparing myself for his soccer player kicks if he's going to follow in his father's footsteps.

Then there's this.  I'm only posting this because I vowed to keep track of my pregnancy brain moments-- this will probably be the closest to comic relief you'll find on the blog.  Enjoy!



Pregnancy Brain Moment (another to add to the list): So as I was lying there during our 20 week ultrasound, watching our tech click through all of the boxes to confirm that our baby boy has all of his organs and limbs.  Legs - check,  arms - check, liver - check, kidneys - check.... 4 chambered heart - check!  It was a great appointment and Matt and I were so excited to hear that the baby was doing well.  We get in the car and this conversation ensues:

Me: Our son has a 4 chambered heart!!
Matt: Yup
Me: Now he only has to grow one more chamber...
Matt: (confused look on face) Uh... no.  He just gets 4.  Are you serious?
Me: (also with a confused look on my face)  Oh.  Really?  Just 4?  I could've sworn there were 5.
Matt: Nope, honey.  He only has 4. You also only have 4.  We only have four. 
Me: Oh...

To make me feel better, Matt has now said that I must've thought there were five chambers and that Jesus goes in the 5th chamber.  Gotta make room for Jesus, right?

Gender Reveal

When we first found out we were pregnant, Matt surprised me with his knowledge of something called a "Gender Reveal Party".  Instead of having the ultrasound tech tell us what gender our baby was, we would ask her to write the gender down on a piece of paper and seal the answer in an envelope.  Then we give the envelope to a baker who would die the cake either pink or blue depending on the sex of the baby and then cover it in white frosting.

So...with the help of some very awesome girlfriends, mine and Matt's vision was brought to life.  Hours of gluey mess later we had my dream decor-- handmade yarn balls-- which will later decorate BabyBery's bedroom.  I created a photobooth area that helped our guests cast their "vote" on the baby's gender by snapping a photo with a mustache or lips.  Then there was the food, we had an awesome spread of goodies and even pink and blue drinks to match the theme.

In the end we found out that BabyBery is a BOY!  Here are some photos of the party and a video recap. :)

Tons of thanks to Shayna, the Lipscomb Ladies, Shannon, Natalie, & Courtney for all the hardwork they put in to making this party perfect!

 

 

 

 

 

And the list goes on

One month and 4 days ago we moved from our cozy little home in San Pedro to our now, much larger, almost cozy, soon-to-feel-like-home in fancy pants Carson.  I'm using the term "fancy-pants" sarcastically for those of you not familiar with the outskirts of the Harbor Cities.  We still have boxes strewn about the place and a good number of items that still don't have a permanent hiding spot, but it's getting there... slowly.  My goal (and I haven't had too many goals since getting pregnant-- pregnancy makes me too tired for goals) is to have our place all gussied up by the second week of March.  We'll see how that goes.

In the last month, though, I have managed to accomplish the following:

• Expand my diet beyond pizza, fried chicken, & french fries
• Go grocery shopping without vomiting at the smell of rotisserie chicken
• Become a pancake cooking master
• Wash multiple loads of dishes without flinching at the site of partially eaten food
• Cook a meal that's main protein was not battered and fried
• Fully alphabetize and shelve 740+ DVDS (we could open up our own rental business)

I'm pretty proud of that list.  It's the little things that keep me going these days.

One thing that I am desperately trying to cross off is how to kick a cold without taking any medication while pregnant.  It's been a month that I've been festering nastiness in my body that manifests itself in some form of congestion, cough, or increased mucous production.  Yeah, I know... it's gross.  I took for granted all those times that I was able to easily shoot back 2 full teaspoons of some menthol-flavored elixir, pass out for a full-night's rest, and wake up with the slightest glimmer of a sniffle.  Nowadays, I find myself barely remembering what it felt like to have two working nostrils and a voice that didn't sound like I was speaking to everyone with my face submerged in water. 

The entrepreneurial nature in me wants to take advantage of this affliction and come up with some miracle drug that cures the common cold in pregnant women.  There's a million dollar business in this somewhere.  Having a cold while you're pregnant is the worst! In my desperation yesterday I even called my doctor's office pleading for some relief and she okay'd the use of regular strength Tylenol Cold.  I practically ran to the Target pharmacy to get my hands on it only to find the shelves empty.  I put on my best sick as a dog face and went to ask the pharmacist if she could recommend anything comparable in my pregnant state.  I ruined it for myself.  She refused to tell me anything and kept repeating that since I'm pregnant there is nothing I can do but go home, rest, and use a saline sinus rinse.

Now, I won't go into the ugly details that were my last experience with sinus rinsing, but let's just say it didn't end well.  I never had any problems with it until about 3 weeks ago when I proved to myself that sinus rinsing can rinse out not just your nasal passage but your last meal.  *shiver*  Needless to say, I won't be sinus rinsing for a long time.

Today, I discovered Puffs Plus tissues with Vicks! You can smell these fluffy, white rags from a mile away, but they do give me some form of relief.  The relief lasts only minutes, but boy do I cherish those minutes.  Do I care that I smell like a retirement home's gathering hall?  No siree.  I will proudly be toting these menthol-potent babies with me until I kick this cold to the curb.  I may even sneak some into my pockets while I lead worship tomorrow morning.  I'm sure God will love my Vicks Vapo smellin' voice.

Lastly, here's the first of many BabyBery Bump Shots.  It looks like I'm pushing my belly out, but I assure you I'm not.  I have a tiny, compact torso and that baby belly is bumpin'.  I'm still getting used to the fact that it's not hard, jiggles, and just looks like I had a HUGE lunch (which, maybe I did. It was probably delicious).  I'll be 15 weeks on Monday, but I'm just too lazy to take photos each week.  Here's 13 weeks for those curious about my progress to fat penguin status.

13 weeks

A Serious Case of Pregnancy Brain

I've heard many women talk about "pregnancy brain" but it just sounds like an excuse for just plain dumb.  I was wrong... as usual, since I've recently discovered that I've come down with an enormous case of pregnancy brain.  Sure, I'd make dumb comments or ask a lame question here and there, but I just attributed that to my unbelievable exhaustion.  Making a baby is tiring and my brain just doesn't think... as hard as it used to, that is.

Then it happened; the moment I realized that all my logic and coherence had taken a vacation.  I was tired and headed home from the usual stressful day at work.  I pulled into the garage, grabbed my purse, got out of the car, and headed inside.  I was about 4 steps into the house when I realized that the water heater sounded like it was working overtime.  Man, that water heater is loud!  So, I turn around to look back into the garage.  Nope-- not the water heater.  Sure enough, my car was still running.  Yeah, that's right.  I left my car running in the garage.  Stunned, I hurry back to my car, turn off the ignition, and in absolute humiliation run inside to tell Matt what an idiot I am. 

Okay, so I admit it.  I have pregnancy brain.  Never in my right mind would I have left my car running.  Now, you'd think I'd learn my lesson.  I've successfully repeated that instance a total of three times now.  THREE!  Proceeded into my home with my car still running.  Each time, I've caught it upon entering the house, but still!  I anticipated all the other side effects to pregnancy: nausea, food aversions, exhaustion, and emotional instability, but I did not prepare for the random fits of ineptitude.

I'm hoping I'm done with the car-left-running streak, but I'll keep a tally on the blog just in case.