Twilight (minus the vampires)

I have approached the twilight of this pregnancy and I am now counting down the hours till I begin the arduous undertaking that is labor.  As I sit here, alone in Abishai's room, it strikes me that this will be the last evening that Matt and I will have that is just our own in our home.  I am overwhelmed by a combination of emotions -- nervousness, excitement, fear, joy, and gratefulness.  In a day or so, we will be meeting our son for the first time and our lives will change, albeit for the better, forever.

It has been such a long journey that started long before we ever got that positive pregnancy test.  In the last 2.5 years, God has pushed, prodded, stretched, and formed me into something new and the growth I've experienced emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and (let's not forget) physically has been challenging, but amazing.  This was not an easy road, but I've learned and seen some astounding things because I traveled it.

One thing that stands out to me the most as I reminisce is that I am truly blessed.  Totally undeserving in so many ways and yet God continues to bless me.  First and foremost, He blessed me with Matt-- a true partner and best friend that has shown me patience, love, compassion, and understanding beyond reason.  I have seen God's grace through Matt and words will never encompass the gratitude I have for his partnership in this marriage and our impending parenthood.

Then, God revealed to me His benevolence.  We are surrounded by friends and family that have gone above and beyond in their generosity towards Matt and I as we prepare for Abishai's arrival.  Multiple showers of love and gifts, providing us with every little knick knack an infant would need.  But the generosity went further than material things.  Friends surrounded us with prayers and thoughts and enveloped us with their love through meals, fellowship, help with housework, and many other ways.  I am blown away by the hospitality and kindness that has been given to us.

For those of you that know me well, you know that I like my lists and I live by planning.  Waiting for Abishai to arrive has been an agonizing test.  I could only plan for it to an extent.  At the end of the day, the date and time of his arrival would always be a surprise.  Today I am officially 41 weeks along which calculates to being pregnant for a total of 10 months and 1 week.  I have watched as the pregnant family and friends I have who were all within my due date have, one by one, given birth to their bundles of joy.  It's been frustrating, to say the least, and I've really had to learn to be patient especially through the physical discomfort I've been experiencing.  "Man proposes, God disposes" were the wise words that my mother shared with me and I've had to remind myself that none of this is in my timing.  As I prepare for our induction tomorrow evening, I am trying to strip away the anxiety and nervous tension that I have about the unknowns.  In the end, I know we will see a glimpse of God's glory through this new life. 


So, here we go.  At 8pm, Matt and I will be admitted into the hospital and begin the trip down labor road.  Please keep us both (or shall I say, all three of us) in your thoughts and prayers.  Thank you in advance for all of the support, encouragement, and love.  We're excited and can't wait for you to meet Abishai (who will have an official middle name as well). 

Here's one of my favorite Third Day songs... let's hope this helps calm me (or motivate me) through those last few pushes.